01 Feb MATURITY, MASKS, IDENTITY, AND THE REAL SELF
(Here is the link to the video, in case you prefer to watch it than read it: https://youtu.be/Oad-OqaS3C8)
Hello my people, hello machine, Hello Andrés Marcial.
What is maturity? Does it imply behaving as it is socially dictated by having to put on a mask?
In a channel of spirituality sooner or later you will find the topic of no-ego. However, few days ago I had a small enlightenment:
My identity is my future.
First of all, thank you very much Andrés Marcial for your question and your comment. And for the rest of you out there, if you have a question in mind, go ahead and type it in the comments. I will give you my thoughts on it (sooner, or later). Just be patient.
So, to the topic. Marcial asks about the meaning of maturity. If you are a teenager, or an old young adult, you have to deal with this unavoidable question:
WHO AM I????
Actually, if you think a bit deeply about it, it is scary as shit. Suddenly, at some point of your existence, you wonder about the most fundamental fact of existence, your own self. Therefore, if you don’t even know who you are how are you going to know whatever about this universe. You don’t know the person that thinks, so let aside knowing anything about the content that is thought.
These types of thoughts have been around probably, since the Homo Sapiens started to have too much free time to do some extra thinking. There is one guy that you probably know, that become famous precisely for this.
Descartes: “Cogito, ergo sum”
“I think, therefore I am.” My god… He thought he had solved it.
Religious movement prefer something easier to feel in the body:
“I suffer, therefore I exist” But let’s discuss that in another moment.
If you have to choose which of those people is more mature, what would you say:
[Person 1] – He spends most of his time partying, having fun, and messing around. He has a job just to make some money that he spends quickly afterwards. He is not interested in politics or the direction of humankind. He stopped making questions about his life long time ago.
[Person 2] – He has a project in mind to build a better life for him and his family in the future. His job is not perfect, but he doesn’t dislike it either. He is saving and investing money into making his goals and dreams true. He tries to be updated about the situation in the planet. From time to time, he has personal crisis when he asks himself again what the purpose is of what he is doing, and where is he going.
Take 3 seconds to think about it: [1, 2, 3] It wasn’t that difficult, no?
Person 2 is more mature. He has wider perspectives about life, and he is working in his long-time plans. And, he questions all of this from time to time. Person 1 is simply going by, doing what is expected for him to do.
Well, for me, it can be all sum up to one sentence:
MATURITY IS RESPONSIBILITY.
Many people used to tell me when I was younger that I was “Very mature for my age”. I was speaking with them about my ideas, what I had done, what I wanted to do, and they came up with this sentence that, (I am not going to lie), busted my ego.
Kids are not as mature as adults because they don’t have as many responsibilities.
The key difference between a teenager that is not so mature and one that it is, is the level of responsibilities that he is taking care of.
And, coming back to the second part of the question:
“Does it imply behaving as it is socially dictated by having to put on a mask?”
I think that Marcial is referring to the impact of maturity in the construction of our identities.
That is amazing. A mature person is the one that has taken responsibility of his or her own identity. You are mature because you are responsible, and you grow up when you take care of “Who you are”. You may not know it, or being on a period of search, but you are searching. You are searching because you took the responsibility of knowing who the heaven are you, and what you want to do with your time.
That’s becoming mature: Taking the responsibility of searching your identity.
Your identity includes not only who you are, but what is your purpose on life, and what is your role in this huge performance.
“All the world’s a stage” – William Shakespeare
“Life is a performance”. As you like it. So, which type of player are you? What’s is your role?
That is all maturity. That is all taking responsibility of your life.
Therefore, for becoming mature, do we need to put a mask and hide ourselves to fit in society?
NO, and YES
Each new person that arrives to this planet is an unrepeatable mess. Every person has the potentiality of be whatever the thing in the world. He has his genetics, that will make him be in a certain way, but depending on a million of factors: his country, his family, his life experiences, his friends, his education… He can be an entirely different person.
You may have heard about how the language changes the way we think, how the culture affects who we are. Thus, imagine when you put all these things together in a unique combination of these millions of factors, and then you add his genetic predispositions.
The result is a “Unique and unrepeatable human being”. Even better, that person will keep on changing with every new moment in his life. Therefore, you get a unique and unrepeatable human being, constantly changing into a new unique and unrepeatable human being.
Thus, do we have to wear a mask?
Actually yes. I will make a video in the future about what is “the self, the ego, or the identity”, and how science support the view that “The self is an illusion”.
But we live together in society. We need to sacrifice part of the unique and unrepeatable human being that we are, in order to fit in the system. That is probably what “mask” means. I am denying my true self, and a putting this mask to fit in the society.
Maturity means taking the responsibility of finding your unique identity, and also, taking the responsibility of making that unique identity fit into society. So, yes, you need a mask, or at least, you need to trim those things that may be unaccepted in society.
If you want a recent allegory of this idea, check Jim Carrey’s famous work, “The Mask”. The mask was actually liberating all the impulses that society was repressing. The mask of the film, is actually, an “anti-mask”.
To sum up, the path would look like something like this:
- At the beginning you are a kid without responsibility à You are not mature
- Then, you question your identity and you question who you are and what is your role in life. à You take responsibility, you are more mature.
- You discover your unique identity but you realize that you have to fit into society à So, you put these masks
- Hopefully, at some point, you have a spiritual enlightenment, and you realize that your unique identity is always changing, and all those masks are things you created to fit in society. à Then, you consciously lose all the responsibility about who you are, but you remain mature, because you have done all the process.
Try not to understand me: I love paradoxes.
The more responsibility you take about who you are, the more mature you become.
Reaching the highest level of maturity implies not taking responsibility at all about who you are.
If you want to go a step further, check Tao Te Ching, chapter 11
“Therefore, on the one hand we have the benefit of existence,
And on the other, we make use of non-existence.”
This was Carlito Fluito. Keep on taking responsibility, keep on becoming more mature, and I hope I have confused you all a bit more!
Write your comments and questions, leave your ego aside, subscribe to the channel, and in the following videos we will see why “My identity is my future”.
Does my future exist? Not yet. Okay, my identity either.
Sit straight, relax your muscles, and breathe twice with me. Now, simply keep on breathing.
Thanks for reading.