29 Jun How to transform hate in to love in just seconds
If the post seems too long and you only have 20 seconds:
Super summary of the post (Spoilers ahead)
When you are angry with the world or feeling like shit go out to the street and observe random people for a few seconds. Choose one and start wishing him or her that the following 24 hours become the best 24 hours of their lives. Wish it with enthusiasm. Wish it with accuracy. Wish them to meet the love of their lives, or to win the lottery, or that their new son or daughter is born today. Wish them the best. The best of the best. If you are angry, use your anger to wish them the fucking best 24 hours of their fucking life. Wish it with your whole being.
How did I discover this technique?
Driving, my hated activity.
I almost never drive. First, I don’t have a car myself. When I drive, I normally use my landlord’s car. That day, I came back from the airport, I had gone there to drop him on the early morning because he had a plane to take. Early mornings in Brussels are probably quite similar to other big cities. It was easy to go outside, towards the airport; but dreadfully annoying to come back to the center.
I don’t like cars. I pretty much hate cars. I think that they are polluting machines to transport common people with delusions of grandeur. There is almost always an alternative to the car, and on many occasions, it is more efficient. However, it can be useful to do big groceries or to arrive at the airport faster than public transportation. But, commuting by car in a big city is the very unique activity that I never fully understood. Alone, stuck, and annoyed… Not for me.
This gif is extremely illustrative.
Back on my first year of university, I used to look at the cars that entered Salamanca and said out loud the word “One!” [“¡Uno!”] each time I saw a car with only one person in it. Here in Brussels, one of the European cities with worse traffic jams, I just enjoy my bike on a daily basis, feeling compassion for the shitty moments that the people around me are suffering, locked in their private stagnation machines.
But that day, I was also stuck in the traffic. I was feeling stupid and idiot for wasting my time doing nothing better than ride on first gear.
My mind was wild, and my body was responding as a subproduct of my thoughts. With so many negative thoughts popping up, I was getting nervous, annoyed, and angry. The situation got its tipping point when another driver sneaked my lane. Less than a second of distraction… Less than three meters of distance… I got so pissed that I started to curse and swear to the driver.
Mettā Meditation, my savior.
In the beginning, you focus on someone that provokes love in your chest area, and then you expand those love feelings to your whole body and your surroundings until you reach the whole planet. The goal is to end up loving every living and non-living thing in this universe. (Pretty spiritual, isn’t it?)
That day on the car, after the sneaking driver, I played the meditation file on my phone and started to breathe consciously. When I got a bit outside of myself, I stop the audio and started looking at the people. I came back to reality. I saw with clarity; my thoughts were not ruling my life anymore. I looked around, saw myself in the car, saw my car surrounded by other cars, and then saw the people on the other cars. They were human beings like me. They were probably feeling quite shitty for being in that traffic jam as well. Just like me. My mind changed radically.
Wish with intensity, wish with passion, wish with accuracy.
I started to wish love to them. So much love. So many good wishes… But not only that, I started to wish them that the day they have ahead would become the best day of their lives. I truly felt it and I truly imagined it. I was looking at the faces of those random people trapped in their cars and I imagine that their day would become wonderful, that it would become perfect. I imagine them finding a parking spot effortlessly. Arriving at work feeling super motivated, with so many good colleagues and friends loving them; performing their work extremely well, enjoying every second of it. After the work, they would come back home with their loved ones, or go out, or whatever they want to do. I imagined that that day they would get a promotion on their jobs; that their new kids would be born. I imagined and wished so many good things to so many random people that all my hate, anger and annoyance banished. I remember myself speaking alone in the car saying things like.
“Brother, brother! The day of today is gonna be so fucking good that you don’t even know! Really, man, you have no fucking idea of how fucking good is gonna be the day of today! You are gonna have the best day of your life today, bro! I am telling you, believe me, man! All I want is that today becomes the best day of your life, bro!”
If you do it in your mother tongue is even more powerful.
“¡Chorra, que el día de hoy sea la polla! ¡Que te pase lo mejor, chorra! ¡O sea, que te ocurra todo lo que quieras, que encuentres al amor de tu vida, y que tu jefe te suba el sueldo hermano! ¡Es todo lo que quiero, hermano! ¡Te lo juro!”]
The effects were so powerful and automatic that I couldn’t believe them. In less than two minutes, I had gone from hating the situation where I was, feeling annoyed and angry with everyone to canalize all that negative energy in wishing the best to the anonymous people around me. It was so fun and enjoyable that I kept doing it until I got home. It was very entertaining to look at the drivers instead of the cars, to see their faces of tiredness and wish them that that day was going to become the best day of their lives.
Ideas for your personal practice.
I have kept on applying the technique from time to time. There is an infinite number of places and situation where you can use it. Today, I had to wait in the post office for 20 people that had arrived before me. I put it into practice and still works.
Go ahead and give it a try. Next time you are annoyed, bored, angry or hateful, turn that energy into good wishes and love. Observe how your consciousness shifts. You can practice it in public transports, in waiting rooms, in bars and discos… You will never be bored and annoyed again. You will stop hating people and life forever.
Go out. Look around you. Choose a random person that looks like suffering and start to imagine how the best day of his life is going to start right now. Wish him or her that the next 24 hours will become the best 24 hours of their lives. Be specific and imagine situations. Imagine them holding their kids, or being promoted in the work, or having amazing sex with their loved ones. Wish them the best and forget about yourself. Your happiness is just a by-product of other human beings’ happiness. This exercise is the undeniable proof of it. Undeniable only if you experience it. I do experience it. Do you? (Leave me a comment 😉 Means a lot).
Believe me and give it a chance. I believe in you. You have the power of transforming hate into love immediately. Just be playful, courageous and a bit creative.